My high school swim team had this time-honored practice of kidnapping new recruits. The older kids would call the parents of some new member, make the arrangements, and then pounce on their unknowing prey in the early hours of some weekend morning. I can still remember when they came for my brother. My own kidnapping got messed up because my mom forgot to leave the door unlocked. I ended up letting my assailants in myself!?! When it was my turn to nab some young kid, I had a great time doing it.Me and my buddies picked this really sweet kid to get. He was the goofiest boy you could ever come across... the definition of a freshmen. He even had these big Coke-bottle glasses. He couldn't see a damn thing without them. I honestly have no idea how he was able to navigate the pool in that condition. He might've been a heck of a lot faster had he been able to actually see the walls. He was the nicest kid though... but damn was he goofy!
So me and my senior pals show up at his house one early Saturday. His mom let us in. She had a big smile on her face and was happy to be a part of the joke. She didn't even budge when we put panty hose on our heads. She just drank her coffee and led us up to her son's room. The kid was dead asleep... sawing some serious logs in his bed. We stood over him menacingly and just laid into him. We pinned him face down to his bed, talked in deep "scary" voices, duck-taped his hands behind his back, and told him to shut the hell up. And because the kid couldn't see a damn thing and was being violently awoken by three strangers, he was freaking out. I think his mom helped to calm him down when she said aloud, "Be sure to grab his glasses." The fear probably wore off, but the confusion certainly couldn't have... especially for this goofball. We blind-folded this blind kid anyway, walked him out of his house, and threw him (literally) into the back of my buddy's car. We drove around super-fast, swerving all over the place in order to bang this kid all over the back of the car. Because he was all tied up, he couldn't steady himself at all. He must've smashed his face against the walls so many times. It was nearly impossible not to laugh. Later we took him to someone's house, duck-taped him to a chair, and beat him up a bit. Ok... we weren't hurting the kid, but we definitely gave him the once-over. Looking back on it now, it's pretty demented, but it was all for fun. We never would've seriously hurt anyone. Shoot... our coach endorsed it, though I doubt she knew what was actually happening. We ended the morning back at her house where all of the new faces were given breakfast and then laughed about the whole thing. It was pretty fun.
So what does "Highway to Hell" have to do with any of this? My buddy thought it would be a great idea to have that song playing as we drove the kidnapped prisoner around. "It'll be awesome mood music," he said.
"Highway to Hell" is from the album of the same name. To hear the song, click on the icon in the widget jukebox along the side of the blog.
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